Food & Your Mind!
Image: taken by professional Photographer Fungaifoto.
I can’t eat that, I’llget fat. I can’t eat that, I won’t be able to suckmy tummy in all night in those trousers/in that dress.My arms are sogross. Why are my legs so flabby? I’mso fat, I’m too thin, does my butt look too big, too small...andthe list goes on. These are just a few of the thoughts that manypeople worldwide have running through their mind on repeat day in andday out, with the voice within being louder on some days more thanthe other.
My history with food
Image: taken by professional Photographer Alexandre Puchalsck.
And who I am I to evenwrite about the link between food and the mind?I’m 38years old and my relationship with food began, like anyone else whenI was a child.The first day we areborn is when we are introduced to what will nourish and sustain us,and ourpattern with food begins to form forthe rest of our lives.An unhealthy patternwhich develops in childhood can only be broken if we are willing andable to examine what goes on in our minds about our bodies and food.
I have been a Personal Trainersince 2013, qualified in Nutrition; and a certified Fitness Chef (Idevise healthy recipes and am certified to educate, cook and deliverhealthy meals/nutritionprograms to individualsand corporations alike).So far, inmy time as a Holistic Health Coach i.e. focusing on a holistic way ofhelping people get healthier (throughthe mind, body andspirit) – I have coached people to turn around and sustain ahealthy lifestyle through individualised meal plans. Oncethey get usedto the adjusted way ofeating which I designfor them, they can then sustain thatbalanced way of eating forlife.
I have alsocompeted within theInternational Natural Bodybuilding Association Australiaas a Fitness Model - achieving Gold, Silver and Bronze medals between2014 and2016. During my competitive career, my nutrition was foremost inachieving the results that I did on stage.
I felt the need to startwriting about this topic because I think everyone deals with food ontheir own individual level and it affects us for a lifetime, eitherpositively or negatively (in my profession – it has mostly beenwith working with people who are dealing with itfrom the latter), andit’s important to examine whyso that we canmove forward in the most positive way.
After our mental and emotionalstrength; and keeping our inner organs working well/having analkaline chemistry in the body (more about that in another blog) -food is the biggest factor in us achieving a healthier body, followedby exercise/the physical activity that we do to keep ourselvesmoving.
Childhood:what did we learn aboutfood?
Our relationship with foodstarted when we were children. Thinkback to your first memories of eating/maybe not eating at home; andthe content of meals you were fed by your parent(s);sibling(s)or other caregivers.What were the circumstances around eating e.g. did you always sitdown at the table or were meals in your household rushed? Whatwas the conversation you had whilst eating; did you sit in silence;were you constantly scolded whilst you ate; wereyou told that you were greedy etc?
Allthese factors contribute to how you start to view food and your bodyfrom an early age andas you go through life.For myself, for example, I see my relationship with food interms of the quality of the contentas always having been good whilst growing up because my mother alwayscooked vegetables with every meal; shefocused on useating/finishing ourvegetables firstand they were tasty. So I grew up loving my vegetables! Even now, Istruggle to eat a meal without vegetables even if I can only get onetype of veggie for a week.
Because my parents were alsofocused on us achieving academically and in sports, they encouragedus to eat well so that we could have the right nutrients andthus energy to excel inboth of these fields. So I always link healthy food to a clearermind; better focus inmy work and for goodmovement of my body.
In my family, cooking andsharing meals was also the way that my mother showed love and so overthe years – when I cook for friends and family, it is my way ofexpressing my loveto them andI love to watch someone enjoy something that I have cooked. Ican get offended when someone rejects what I’ve cooked for thembecause I pour my soul into the food when cooking. But being able tosee where my feelings around food stem from – has helped me developan authentic and morepositive relationshipwith food.
On a not so positive note –when I was growing up,sometimes I would refuse to eat. Mysister would often thenbe tasked with feedingme. Looking back, Ifeel it was partlybecause I wanted attention, and when I didn’t eat – people fussedand fretted. I also didn’t have much of an appetite for somereason. I remember playing the “car parking in the garage” or“the choochoo train” lolwith my older sister Eden, where she would say things like “choochoo, open your mouth Teu – the train is coming in” and I wouldopen my mouth to whatever was in the spoon! Mum also put plenty ofketchup on everything I ate and youcan guarantee that Iwould always eat anything with ketchup onit. The same stillhappens today – I eat most ofmy meals with ketchupand love sweet sauces like sweet “n sour.
Sothink back to your childhood environment and see if there are anylinks to your views and behaviours towards food now.
Childhood: how did you feel about yourself and your body?
Our relationship with food andthen our bodiesstarted when we werechildren. Think back to your first memories of foodand then what you thought/how you felt about your body.
For myself, growing up Ialways thought and then began to feel and believe that I was tooskinny because that’s what I heard all the time from the adultsaround me. “You don’t eat, you’re too skinny” - accompaniedwith a look of distaste at my lanky figure. By the time I was 13years old, I firmly believed that my body was not beautiful because Iwas just “too skinny”. And coupled with the fact that Iconstantly was told that I didn’t eat when I was growing up, Idecided that I was going to stuff my mouth so I could have the soughtafter curves that I believed would then make me “beautiful” and“good enough”.
And so by the time I got tohigh school and then university – I ate! I ate whatever junk food Icould find so that I could not be called skinny anymore. I had 2different groups of women who sawmy body from 2 angles –those who wanted to weigh less, coupledwith statements like “how do you stay so slim? You must not eat!”and those who thought I was “too skinny, youneed some curves”...so I always felt like I could never win. Littledid I know until now that “I didn’t need to win” – lovingyour body the way it is, regardless of anyone’s thoughts – is thetrue victory for yourself.
By the time I got to mymid-twenties, eventhough I was slim - I had a pot-belly effect from eating so much junkto try and gain weight, even though I had always enjoyed exercisingregularly. So to hide it I just used to pull my pants or skirt overmy belly. Then one day something in my head just snapped because Iwas tired of feeling so sluggish from eating junk to try and gainweight. I didn’t feel healthy anymore, so I cut out all the junk;and started a plan given to me by a Personal Trainer/Nutritionist. Istarted feeling so amazing eating only freshly prepared food withonly some junk once per week. It was a bonus that my tummy flattenedbut I couldn’t put a price on how amazing I felt within. From thenon I was hooked to the healthier lifestyle.
Fast forward years later andafter getting my Personal Trainer and Nutrition qualifications in2012, I started Fitness To A Tee and started on my journey to givethat amazing feeling back to others so they could transform theirlives via the signature Fitness To A Tee one on one and onlinecoaching programs.
My mind, my food and my bodybuilding
I think this is probably ablog all on its own but Ijust wantedto touch on how Ievolved during my time competing as a Fitness Model. I think I was ina stage in my life where sadlyI sought approval. Istill wasn’t wholly convinced that I was beautiful just the way Iwas and to start off I found that being able to control my food andsee results in my body like my 6 pack, was a way of having controlover my body and hence control in general. Whenever I faltered andate out of my plan – I would beat myself up inside so much.
I am so grateful for working with Neil Peters who was my coach for most of my competitions because he taught me the value of balance but I also always insisted to him that I would eat all the major food groups: carbs, healthy fats and proteins. He used to get annoyed at me and say "Tee, I know - I heard you!" In my field, I knew many girls who were not eating any carbs i.e. rice, potatoes at all and thus their health suffered.
By the time I got to the lastcompetition I was in, I was training myself and taking advice fromZimbabwe based Fitness Guru Otis Goredema. Even though I was stillalways tough on myself, I learnt to transfer my discipline withfood for my competitions -to my work and other important areas of my life. BUT what I took fromthe journey is that I am beautiful regardless of what anyone says ordoesn’t about my 6 pack or about my body. Loving the spirit andthen skin I’m in is the most important to me!
The way forward...ACCEPTANCE & BALANCE!
Everyone is on an individual journey with food. Looking back to your childhood; your feelings then and then your current behaviour patterns will help you to start opening your mind to having a positive relationship with food, if you don’t already. Be honest with yourself, sit and self-examine if there are any habits you would rather choose not to have in relation to food. Acknowledgement and acceptance are the first step towards changing any behaviour pattern.
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For help with Nutrition Coaching, I am reserving spaces on the signature Fitness To A Tee online Flat Tummy Coaching programs, which can be done from anywhere in the world - starting from Monday 2 September 2019. To reserve your spot and get further information, send your interest to fitness@fitnesstoatee.com.au.
Blessings! x
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