Men’s Health: TJ Talks About Suicide Prevention

TJ Shana Talks. Check out his Instagram page here.

November (Movember) is a month to raise awareness of key men's health issues such as testicular and prostate cancer, plus suicide. /mental health.

This month on Fitness To A Tee, I've been featuring a man each week, focusing on raising awareness of each issue. You can see this blog from last week where I gave you the "need to know" facts about testicular cancer. 

You can also see one of the most popular posts of Zimbabwe Fitness Legend Otis Goredema showing us his top body conditioning moves for men to support prostate cancer awareness. 

Male suicide + mental health

In this blog post, my focus is on men's mental health due to the high rate of suicide amongst males. 

Lifeline Australia states that suicide is the leading cause of death for people aged 15-44, with 75% of those being male! Globally, men commit suicide at a rate twice than that of females.

Thoughts from our Featured Man of the Week: Timothy J Shana 

Instead of talking about men, I decided to have a chat with one of the great, inspiring men in my circle - 35 year old Timothy Jnr or "TJ" who's based in Perth, Australia. 

TJ is a Youth Worker and motivating Content Creator who is passionate about bringing the best out of people. He works with young people who have childhood trauma and also mentors male youths.

I asked him some questions about suicide and mental health in general, particularly as he is surrounded by young males who've already experienced a lot in life through childhood trauma, in his daily work life. 

He had some wise words to say. 

What does good mental health look like to you?

If I could sum up good mental health in one word it would be Peace. Being at peace with the current version of me, at peace with my past, my mistakes and at peace with the fact that I cannot always control the events around me. As you can tell, I like to keep my definitions simple... haha.

How do you look after your mental health?

I lean into the things that give me energy. And by this, I mean Physical, Emotional/Spiritual, and Mental energy. I am also intentional with what good/positive energy looks like to me. For example, when I am full of high emotional energy, I am Joyful, Hopeful, Grateful, and Content.

When I am full of physical energy it is easier for me to get out of bed, be more enthusiastic about engaging in physical activity, and so on and so forth. I always advise people to take a layered approach by specifically identifying what and how they want to feel first, then pinpointing what activities help them get to that point - which is

easier.

The physical activities I engage in

For physical energy I engage in weight training and take long walks or hikes. I train in the gym at least 3 times a week.

I eat good quality whole food and I'm in the process of cutting sugar from my diet. There is a lot of truth to the saying " You are what you eat."

If the body is a temple I believe the mind is a palace. I try to make sure only good thoughts live there. I am careful with the content I consume. I avoid engaging in thoughts that don't serve me (this has been a long road for me lol.)

Meditation: this has been one of the most valuable tools in my mental health "toolkit". It covers everything from breathing techniques to helping bring down anxiety, to clearing the mind when feeling overwhelmed.

I also journal my thoughts and feelings about the day or week I've had. I use this as a way to drain off negative emotions.

TJ Shana: “I have a gratitude ritual I practice weekly where I list all the things I’m grateful for.”

My emotional/spiritual activities 

I have a gratitude ritual I practice (somewhat) weekly where I list all the things I am grateful for. It doesn't have to be anything big. This week one of the things I expressed gratitude for was just being alive to see another day.

Being in a regular state of gratitude helps me keep a positive outlook on life, no matter how hard things get.

What is your view on why the suicide rate is higher than women's?

I think one of the biggest factors is shame. Most men tend to associate getting help for psychological or emotional problems with weakness. And it doesn't help that men push this false narrative on other men both overtly and covertly. 

Expressing emotion is seen as disadvantageous while traits like physical strength, aggression, and machismo are held in higher regard.

Because of this many men hide their struggles in order to try to fix them themselves or simply act like their pain doesn't exist.

We men aren't likely to get professional help because we are so good at hiding our struggles and often the people we love won't know until it's too late.

How can men be vulnerable and comfortable without being seen as weak?

Who says vulnerability is weak? All the "strongest" accept and even embrace the fact that they cannot be men 100% of the time. Even Superman had to put down the cape and be Clark Kent every now and then. It is not sustainable to be "strong" all the time.

I think vulnerability is an important part of growth. When done right, it can be just the thing to take you to your next level. One way I practice vulnerability is by being brutally honest with myself. I find when I do so - I shed light on the dark patches of my life, and so I know exactly what needs to be dealt with.

Another valuable way to practice vulnerability is by regularly speaking to someone you trust about your struggles.

A third way is to acknowledge your feelings:  fear, sadness, grief, etc are all part of the human experience and there is nothing wrong with going through them.

What mental health supports are men lacking from those around them and in

society in general? And how can we better help?

I love a quote by Jason Wilson, the author of 'Battle Cry' and 'Cry Like A Man' (both great books on men's mental health that I highly recommend).  He says "when a man says he is tired, believe him". Most men don't feel comfortable opening up about how they feel because society is conditioned not to believe them. Instead we are told to "be strong" or "hang in there mate".

Creating an environment where men can be listened to without judgement will go a long way toward reducing the friction of experiencing mental health issues and finding the right kind of help.

How do you view counselling or therapy? 

Therapy is in my opinion, the single best investment anyone can make for their mental health. The ROI on money spent on a good therapist or counsellor is potentially limitless. (And no, I'm not being paid to say this lol).

I think we as men need to abandon the notion that therapy is for the insane or the weak. My view is, no good driver would wait for his/her car to break down before they take it for a service. A good tune-up every so often will keep a car running well for years. The same goes for your mind.  

Getting expert help for mental and emotional issues will ensure you have the right tools to deal with life's curveballs.

What's your top piece of advice to men under 18 to help cope with stress? 

Don't be afraid to seek help. Speak to someone you trust when you feel it's too much for you. You are not any less of a man for going through what you are going through.

Thank you so much TJ for sitting down and opening up to us. Be sure to check out more of TJ's motivating Content by clicking here now. 

To see a video of TJ giving his top tips on looking after men's mental health,click here.